Disappointed
by Rusty Bedsprings
Summary: Luke reflects on his life and his relationship with Jess while his nephew is in town. LL-Javajunkie. This is for all the Luke Danes fans. COMPLETED.
1. Stuck Here in the Middle

When Jess leaves and Luke goes to tell Rory and Lorelai, Luke reflects on his life and his failed relationship with his nephew.

I just play with them…I don't own them. They belong to the magnificent Amy. I wouldn't dare take them away!

He woke up to his alarm buzzing at a quarter to five and rolled out of bed. He was use to it. Really he didn't even need his alarm anymore. It was there because if he stopped setting it, something would change. Years and years of the same routine had taken its toll on Luke Danes. He was a man in his middle thirties. Single with commitment only to his hermit life. Now, time-to-time, Luke admitted his disappointment in himself, how unsatisfied he was with his life and his inevitable future but he pushed it away and kept moving. Not forward, sometimes backwards but mainly in between. Luke was stuck in the middle with only hope that something would come and push him forward, to change him and his life forever. And it was when Jess arrived, after the shock and anger that his sister dumped her seventeen year old kid on him and made Luke take over another's responsibility again, he found himself liking the idea of having someone else there. Someone that could change him, someone that could make life a little more worth the while.

What Luke forgot was that change could also bring heartbreak and fear in a man. He just never thought that it could come from someone other than a woman. A woman like Nichole could do that, and maybe that's why he wasn't close, not attached. Luke had too much heartbreak, too many fears. He had hoped that Jess could restore his confidence in himself and in mankind.

Luke rolled out of bed and went to pour his morning glass of orange juice.

He noticed Jess was gone as soon as he walked into the kitchen. On the other side of the dark apartment were an empty, and made, twin bed and a clean and vacant room.

His eyes widened then shut and Luke's chin tucked its way into his chest.

He sighed.

A tear slipped its way down his cheek to his lips.

When some of the moisture found its way to his tongue and Luke tasted the salty flavor, _I'm not going to do this, _he shook his head, _It was bound to happen, _looked up, _I'm going to be alright, _and carried on with his day.

About an hour after Luke opened the diner and over two hours after he realized that Jess was defiantly gone, his thoughts turned to her. _She's going to be devastated,_ just as he is. _She's going to hate Jess_, just as much as he does. They would be disappointed, angry, hurt, scared, and lonely together. _I have to let her know. _Now all he has to do is tell her.

Walking toward the house his nerves took over. How was this going to play out? Should he be blunt? _He's gone. _Should he ease his way into it? _Rory, he cares. I know he does. I think he just needed to do this. _Should he take her in his arms and tell her that he loves her like a daughter and the last thing he wants is to see her hurt? _You mean the world to me. Don't let this break you. _Should he tell her that Jess is worthless and is never going to amount to anything more than the words he reads in those damn books, just a visual, not a tangible object? _He's an asshole working at Wallmart. You're too good for him. You have the entire world in front of you. He won't have anything. _Should he tell her at all? _You're porch rail is broken again. I'll come by again later to check on it._

When he was trudging up the walk he felt like he was climbing Everest._ You can do it..._His legs hurt, the air seemed thin, he was going to pass out. But somehow he found himself on the front porch, and stood facing the front door. All he had to do now was knock. Let them know that the barer of bad news was at their house and wanted to pay a short visit. _Hey, don't hate me or anything but my nephew, who was in love with you split without letting anyone know. Thanks for the ice tea. I'll see you girls later. _Would she cry? _I can't stand it when people cry...especially not little girls._

He misses the days when Rory believed she was a fairy and her biggest disappointment was not getting three scoops of ice cream instead of two for dessert. _Three? Fairies only get two. Princesses get three. _When she and Lorelai would sit in the diner and play MASH and decide whom their future husbands were and where they were going to live. _What a stupid game. Rory, this is no way to plan your future._ But today…Luke Danes would give anything to play the game with them and tell Rory that her husband was going to ride up on a white horse soon. There are no white horses or fairies or games in this world. _What a damn shame_.

He can't knock…He can't ring the doorbell. He can't tell her. Not now…he needs to know that it'll be okay. He needs someone to reassure him that Lorelai the third will be like the second and pick herself up, dust herself off and keep searching for Prince Charming. To believe that there is just as much magic in this world; than there is in all the books she's ever read. _She at least deserves that._

He moved to the windows, he needed to find her. _I need her. _To ask for her help. He can't do this alone; he's tired of doing everything alone. She's the only person in his life that he can depend on. They need each other for support because raising teenagers, while still being one is impossible unaccompanied. He's been left too many times and had to pick up the pieces single-handedly; first his mother, then his father, then Liz, then Rachael and now Jess. _Jess. _However, this time he knows he has someone there to catch him when he falls. _Lorelai._

He saw them through the kitchen window. Talking, bantering, discussing this and that and he was relieved and assured and felt satisfied that they don't know, that he will be the one to tell them, that another man has broken their hearts. _Thank god. _Because hearing it from Miss Patty, or Babette, or Taylor, would only worsen the blow that Jess would administer to their little corner of the world. He gestured, he attempted for attention, yet he hid, he has to protect Rory. _Aw Jeeze! _Lorelai saw him and smiled and gave him a questioning look. He mouthed the words. He has to protect her.

_Don't tell Rory!_

She joined him, and he told her the truth.

Disappointment.

He hated it more than he hated festivals and corporate gas stations. On that beautiful spring day, with the _god damn _birds chirping, the _god damn _sun shining, the _god damn _grass long and luxurious he saw that word in her azure eyes. He recognized how they become dull and cloudy and how they darted and stared and became something so uncharacteristic in a Lorelai Gilmore. This made him feel it too and before he went to leave he was hit by it full on. _Shit. _This was all because of him._ Shit. _He didn't do what he was supposed to do. _Shit, Shit..._For once in his life, Luke Danes couldn't fix something that was broken but not beyond repair. And the word echoes through his skull.

_Disappointment._

He became disappointed.

Not in Liz for giving up.

Not Jess for leaving.

He became disappointed…in himself.

She told him then, that it wasn't his fault, Jess failed to take the path that was laid before him all cobbled and solid. That he took the dirt road to somewhere mysterious and strange with no true or sure destination. Luke had tried to save him from it. Disappointment. In others…in himself, but in turn he only caused it in Luke and soon in Rory. Luke was relieved. _She's not really..._Lorelai wasn't disappointed. Not in Luke…but in the expected reality that appeared before them in their Hollow Star of a town. Where a billon miles away it would look all shiny and bright but near at that moment was merely a dull luster. _She's not mad. She doesn't hate me for pushing them together. She doesn't blame me anymore. Why?_

Then she asked where he went. If he had any idea where he could be and Luke wished he didn't. Wished Jess hadn't grabbed the rope that would send him into the deep choking water. Jess had chose to leave the man that cared about him, that was there to protect him, teach him, better him, _me, _for a man he didn't even know, _Jimmy._ A man that selfishly found himself in the diner not so long ago to see his seed all grown into a tree. A tree not nurtured by the man himself, stunted in its growth, confused by its impending destination. Luke hated the man. _Bastard. _Hated that he lost one of the only people who needed him and that he needed himself. _I wish I could..._He wishes that he didn't know anything. Then he remembers watching some movie where some guy makes a joke about wishes and he snickers at the idea that it applied to his own current state. _You can wish in one hand and crap into the other. See which one fills up first_. Wishing was worthless and he felt pretty crappy.

When he walked into the apartment that afternoon, despite the sun baking the side of the building and streaming through his window, he felt cold. He walked to his dresser and pulled an old worn gray sweatshirt over his flannel, dropping the baseball cap on the bed, and walked into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of beer, popped off the top and took a gulp. _I'm going to get through this_. Both his parents died and he got out of the woods. _One seventeen-year-old kid isn't going to ruin my life_. He closed the refrigerator and looked out his kitchen window. What he saw wounded him further. _Rory. _She was walking across the street toward the diner with a book held in front of her face and an intense look of concentration. No sign of knowledge or awareness of Jess' whereabouts. _Good. _Luke sighed, took another swig of beer and turned toward the door of the apartment, leaning on the counter behind him.

_You're not going to do this Danes. You didn't cry when your dad left or when Liz left or when you broke your ankle during a meet and you are sure as hell not going to cry now. _

He straightened up and walked toward the apartment door, beer in hand. He realized this and remembered that he can't bring the bottle downstairs.

_Drinking, alone, in the middle of the afternoon, that would sure send the gossip mill into action. _

He turned around, set the beer on the kitchen table but before he could turn to the door again, the room to his left caught his attention. He added on to his father's office, his apartment, for Jess to live here, for Jess to be comfortable, for Jess to change with him.

_Jess didn't change._

He walked up to the dresser and looked at himself in the mirror above. He remembered Jess and his hair and his primping and he smiled. He even almost chuckled. He could still smell the stuff.

_Like flour and sawdust._

And that was the first time that Luke Danes really cried.

One night she had told him what he wanted to hear.

"Luke, I'm sorry he left. I know how you must feel. I loved him too."

And there she was a little girl all over again, sweet and vulnerable. He hugged her and they both said they were sorry. The only word they ever wanted to hear. Not from each other, from Jess, but somehow…it gave them what they needed. Closure.

He let her go and she walked back to sit with her mother at the white and red table near the door. They picked up conversation and while Rory told a story Lorelai looked over at Luke and smiled. He was relieved to see no trace of disappointment but only the sapphire blue sparkle he loved so much. He served them coffee, they made jokes and references, paid, said their _goodbye, I'll see you tomorrow's_ and left. The diner was empty and Luke was again alone.

He entered the apartment around eleven. There was a lot of cleaning to be done before the health inspection he had coming the next week. He looked to his left and regarded _his_ room as he does every night, to reassure him that he's not going to come back...and then made his way to the bathroom.

While brushing his teeth he wondered why he kept the room the same if he knew he wasn't coming back. Maybe it's to remember, maybe because he can't bring himself to change again. And then again maybe it's because Luke wants to feel disappointed in progression, as he takes a few steps back again, and continues to live his middle.

And then one day, he won't be disappointed in _anything _or _anyone_, and he could find a way to make a change again, maybe with Nichole, maybe with..._her_...but eventually he could be where he's always wanted to be. Forward.


	2. Learning to Move on

**Wow…Now that I've started writing this story…I just can't stop. I still own nothing…Just ideas, some of the voice in here is mine…I think…I hope you all like it!**

He wondered if he ever thought about him. If he ever wished that he had tried harder, that he had never left. Not because of Rory, who he admitted he loved but because of Luke, who had tried...unlike so many people in his life.

He told Lorelai once, about how he felt when Jess left. It was late and they were lying in his bed in the apartment. She, tucked snuggly next to him in his flannel shirt, drifting seamlessly off into dreamland. He, on his back, his hands behind his head, and staring at the ceiling with a far of look on his face. He usually kept to himself. Doesn't want to bother her while she was in such a comfortable state, but that night, he felt the urge to discuss his psychosis.

He didn't know how he found his voice, but he had, and that was what mattered.

"I miss him. Everyday…don't you think that's kind of stupid?" She turned to him, and cuddled on her side, knowing immediately whom he was talking about.

"It's defiantly not stupid Luke. You loved him, you just wanted what's best for him, you have every right in the world to miss him." She stroked his chest to comfort him.

"Yeah, you're right. I just…I didn't want him to leave. I had gotten use to him being there every night after I closed up the diner. I was use to having someone to talk to before going to bed, I was just…Use to him. And I still think about him, all the time, and I just can't…I can't let go of the fact that he became a man. In the two years I knew him. He went from a boy to a man…but…just not the man he should've been." Luke turned to face her now, waiting for her response.

"Luke, he would never have been that man. No matter what happened. He could never have been you. Do you understand that? Luke no one…no one will ever be as good as you."

He smiled at her. Kissed her sweetly.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She turned away from him, satisfied by the outcome of the conversation, and allowed herself to ease into sleep.

But Luke didn't sleep that night.

Not at all.

He just thought about Jess.

Luke returned from the hardware store later in the evening to find Lorelai lying on the couch in the office. Her eyes were closed, her hands rested on her stomach.

She was sleeping. _She is beautiful._

Luke dropped the bag of purchases on the table and strode quietly to her side. Once there he leaned down and kissed her tenderly on the lips. She stirred, looked up at him, and flashed him a brilliant smile. He kneeled next to the couch.

"Hi"

"Hi," She turned to her side, one hand still on her stomach.

"How's my beautiful wife?" He reached out a hand and pushed a few stray curls behind her ear.

"Tired…" Her eyes closed at his touch.

"The baby wearing you out?" His hand moved to her belly, where they touched the small growing bump together.

"Yeah…" There was a slight pause. _She looks…nervous._

"Luke?" He looked up at her. _Oh, no._

"Hmm?" Her hand grasped his and she brought it to her lips.

"You got a phone call while you were gone." She regarded him seriously, his face dropped at this. _This doesn't sound good._

"Who?"

"Jess…"

_Jess…_

Luke got up from the floor and made his way across the room to the table in the kitchen. He sat at a chair, dropped his elbows on his knees and looked over at her. She took this as an indication that he was ready to listen, that he just needed to sit down for this conversation and she followed his lead, by sitting at the chair opposite of him.

"Wha…What did he…uh, want?" Luke sat back and pulled his legs further out, slouching in his seat. _What could he possibly want now? I thought that we worked it all out. That we were good. We talked at the wedding and after…What could he…_

"He um…He has something to tell you. He gave me the number where you can reach him. He said, that…it's important, and that you should call him right away." _Something to tell me? _Luke nodded, crossed the room, grabbed the phone, and returned to his seat.

"Where's the number?"

She left him to have the conversation in private. He loved her even more for this. For knowing him so well, for always being there, from the very beginning. _She's all that sustains me. Keeps me from going off the edge._

He stared at the small pad of paper in front of him. It was "Veggie Tales" stationary. Lorelai had bought it. He remembers the night she brought it to him. She had gone shopping during the day, said she needed to pick up the necessary little things that they had not acquired from the bridal shower and the wedding.

When she walked into the diner that night, she held six bags in her hands, two balancing on her wrists, four wrapped around her long fingers. She was smiling as she threw them up onto the counter in front of him, and he returned a very confused and questioning gaze.

"What is all this?" He gestured wildly at the mound of brown paper, and clear plastic.

"This is the result of a very successful, and very expensive, may I add? Shopping excursion." She sat upon the stool in front of her as he poured her a glass of water and handed it to her.

"Thank you," she took the glass from his hand and drew a large sip through her parched lips.

"Was all of this necessary?" He rounded the counter and sat next to her, still staring at the bags on the counter.

"Absolutely darling." She flashed him a flirty grin, and set the cup of coffee down next to her.

"Alright…What did you get?"

She bounced up from the stool and moved to the first bag she could find. Rummaging through it she pulled out a small book.

"Address book…Very necessary," She discarded it on the counter and went back in the bag for more.

"Recipe book…Very, very necessary…" She put that down as well and continued.

"Stationary…Muy necicito!" She set it on the counter and before going for more she paused hearing Luke protest.

"What the hell is this?" He held up the stationary, to show her the giant smiling cartoon vegetables.

"Well, that's 'Veggie Tales', you silly man." She sat down on the stool again and shook her head.

"What in god's name is 'Veggie Tales'?" He gave her dumbfounded look and then returned his gaze to the small pad of paper.

"It's a cartoon about vegetables…I figured since I like cartoons, and you like vegetables…this would be a nice compromise. Look at the cute tomato!" She pointed to the picture above the writing lines and Luke just looked at her and smiled.

"Someday I'll finally understand what goes on in that head of yours." He leaned over and kissed her lightly then, and turned his attention to the pad of paper in his hand.

"Well, don't count on it, baby."

It was in his hands again but this time it wasn't new and blank, with many writing possibilities. It was a bit worn and in Lorelai's handwriting it said:

Jess Mariano

555-9360

He set the pad down on the table, took the phone in his hand, and began dialing the number. _Here we go._

He sighed audibly before the first ring.

After four rings, he finally heard an answer.

"Hello?"

He couldn't speak. _Say something._ He was incapable of saying one word.

"Hello?"

_What the hell is my problem? _

"Is anyone there?"

…"Jess?" It came out shaky, and he almost sounded like a prepubescent teenager.

"Luke? Is that you?" _God this is hard._

"Yeah…Jess," He sucked in a deep breath of air, "It's me."

He couldn't believe it. Didn't believe it. He was coming to Stars Hollow. _He's coming here. _Jess was coming to visit. He was shocked, stunned, confused, and deep down, somewhere that he doesn't like to admit, he was elated.

He wouldn't be in town for a week, but he assured him that he was coming. That he had big news to tell him, news that he didn't want to share over the phone. This made Luke both excited and extremely nervous. _He didn't specify whether it was good news or bad news, it was just news in general_. _For all I knows they could've put the draft back in and the kid was going to war. Maybe he volunteered to go to war. Maybe he was going to be fighting on the front lines, in a foreign country where he doesn't even know what kind of food they serve let alone the language or the customs or anything for that matter. Maybe he was going to the big house for robbery or fraud. Maybe he was running for president! For Christ sake Danes, get a grip!_ He was going crazy just at all the maybes running through his head. He had to stop that right away. _I'm done._

He left the apartment and headed toward the diner. He wanted to tell her that he was on his way. That he wanted to see them. _Them_. Luke, Lorelai, and the soon to be offspring of, said couple. He had told Luke that he was genuinely happy about the marriage but Luke could hear a little disappointment in his tone as well.

"I'm sorry I couldn't have been there. I would have liked to. Really."

"Hey, it's fine. We didn't have your number. You were probably working anyway. It's no big deal. It was a small thing anyway. Just her parents, Rory, your mom and TJ, and a few friends. Nothing really."

"Still, when mom told me about it…I just…I wish I could've come. That I could have been there for you. I really wanted to be there Luke. I really wish…" _WISH…Funny word._

"Don't worry about it."

"Okay…I guess I wont. I want you to know I'm really happy for you though."

"Thanks Jess…It means a lot. To the both of us."

When he reached the bottom of the stairs he could see that Lorelai was deep in conversation with Babette about possible names for the baby. _Already. She's only three months along. _Sometime during the listing of the names he heard Babette suggest:

"Cole Porter Danes, now that's the name of one cool cat, sugar."

_We will never name our child after anyone who can be referred to as 'one cool cat'._

He saw Lorelai smile and chuckle and tell her she'll keep it in mind. _She's always so considerate_. He grins just thinking about her.

Moving behind the counter he began to refill the coffee pot. _½ cup…much less coffee to fill since the baby…_

"What did he say?" _She never wastes a second._

He turned to face her, wide eyed at her directness, he soon after composed himself and leaned against the counter behind him, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"He's coming to visit next week. He has some **news**."

"News?" She raised her eyebrows in wonder.

"Yeah…just, news." He shrugged his shoulders and placed his hands on the counter behind him. "And he says 'congratulations' and he wants you to know that he's really happy for us."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

She smiled at him and rubbed her belly.

"Honey, the baby is hungry." _Of course._

"The baby? Or Lorelai?" He advanced toward the counter, placed his palms face down on the surface, and leaned toward her.

Daring her to answer.

"Um…well…both. So…"

"Double…I got it."

"Thanks babe." She moved forward before he went to the kitchen and gave him a peck on the lips.

"You're my favorite husband in the state of Connecticut."

He chuckled inwardly. _My wife the comedian._

"I sometimes forget that I married a Mormon."

"Yeah…but you still love me."

He winked at her.

"You bet I do."

He turned to the kitchen to make her meal and Lorelai beamed at the situation. She had a feeling that this visit from Jess would finally be the thing to push Luke forward. It was time to close one door and open up a new one.

Since Jess had left Luke doubted his parenting skills. Before they were married, they discussed the idea of children.

"Do you want to have kids?"

He snuggled closer to his side as they sat on her couch. The movie in front of them was playing a loud love melody and reeked of cheesy mockablitiy from Lorelai Gilmore, but she was too set on having a conversation to even notice.

"Do I…"

She looked up at him and gazed at him sincerely.

"Do you want to have kids? I mean, we're getting married next month and we haven't even discussed how children will factor into our future."

"Well, um…I…To be honest…I don't want them." He didn't even glance in her direction when he said this. Just kept his eyes on the movie, as if it had all the answers to end the conversation in which they were now officially involved.

"You don't…want them?" He felt her sit up and move away from him, and he groaned at loss of warmth on his side.

He found his hands to be the most fascinating objects in the universe. _I'm going to have to tell her why._

"I will make a horrible father." _Might as well be blunt._

"Luke? How can you even say that?" She rubbed his arm reassuringly awaiting his response.

"I know you don't think this but…I failed Jess. I couldn't control him. I couldn't teach him anything. I just don't think that I'm cut out to be a dad."

He felt the warmth again as she found her way into his side.

"I'm going to tell you this…and you sure as hell are going to listen. Seeing you with Jess, and Rory, and then when the school did 'Fiddler on the Roof' back when we were apart…I know that you will be the best dad any kid could ask for. You will be patient, and loving. You'll play along with their jokes and games like you did with Rory and me. You'll make sure that they no what's right and what's wrong. You'll teach them how to build a birdhouse and cook one mean burger. Believe me Luke, and I'm not just saying this because I want kids, I'm saying this because it's the god honest truth, you'll be the greatest dad to our children."

And he felt himself tear up and she kissed his flannel-clad chest and whispered:

"I love you."

Later that night as they lie in bed both beginning to get lost in a dream, Lorelai felt warm lips on her neck.

"I'm not afraid of jam hands anymore."

She was glad that he was moving forward. Putting his disappointment with children behind him and looking forward to the other rewarding aspects of parenting before him. In a few months they would have a child of their own, and they could apply what they had learned already from their own experiences into this new adventure.

The week leading up to Jess' visit seemed tremendously long and grueling. The diner was particularly busy, as was the inn, due to the fall tourism. Luke had already arranged for Lane and Caesar to work the diner most days while Jess was in town. Since he hasn't seen the kid in almost four years, he thought that it might be a good idea to set aside more than a few days to catch up.

When the day arrived Luke found himself incredibly tense. _I'm going to be sick._ Every time the bell rang above the diner he thought it might be him.

When he had left the house in the morning to open the diner, Lorelai had given him some advice.

"It'll be just fine. Make sure you tell him everything though. He needs to know what's been going on in that gorgeous backwards baseball cap head of yours."

He was going to tell him everything. He was going to change his passive ways. _I'm going to do this. _He was going to be open and let Jess know about all the disappointment he had felt about his absence, something he was incapable of expressing to him the last time that they had met. He had everything all thought through. _Yep, I most defiantly can do this. _Now all he had to do was wait.

Let me know what you think. I will probably write one more chapter. I will for sure be up tomorrow. If not you can come with your torches and pitchforks and burn me at the stake because I would for sure be a witch to lie like that!


	3. Reunion

I love Luke Danes! Tonight just made me love him even more. Here is my homage to this beautiful character!

**La La La…I own nothing…Yada, yada, yada. **

**I'm just another girl, sitting at home, thinking, "If I could only find a man like Aragorn" so please don't sue…**

Jess entered the diner about late afternoon. Luke was glad that it had been during the before dinner lull seeing as Lane wouldn't be in for another hour or so.

Luke noticed the changes immediately. _Woah._

No more leather jackets or Metallica T-Shirts. Jess was wearing a dark blue ribbed sweater and light washed jeans. At first, Luke didn't even recognize him. Not only because of his wardrobe but also because of his hair. 

He didn't have hair that reeked of teenage rebellion.

Jess' hair was short, and well groomed and…short. _It's shorter than mine._

And he was smiling, beaming, right at Luke.

And Luke was beaming right back.

An hour and a half later, after Lane had arrived and Luke had briefed her on the specials and all, the two men were sitting in the old apartment at the kitchen table, silently regarding each other. _This is awkward. _ It was Jess who spoke first.

"You look good Luke…Lorelai sure agrees with you."

Luke smiled at him and chucked lightly. _There's that sense of humor._

"Yeah, she sure does." He replied making direct contact with blue eyes.

Jess got up from the table and began to walk around the apartment.

"You didn't change much up here." He picked up a picture frame and gazed at a picture of Luke, almost Jess' age now, holding up a fish and grinning ear to ear.

"Yeah well…I moved the stuff I needed into the house and left the rest of my things here. We just use the apartment for breaks from the diner now."

Jess nodded and made his way to the other side of the apartment. _What is he doing?_

His old bedroom.

He noticed the bed was the same. Still made, same blankets and pillows. The dresser was still in the same place. Nothing had been changed.

"Why did you leave all this here? I thought you'd have gotten rid of it after I split."

Jess sat down on the bed and smoothed his hands over the soft blue fabric beneath him.

"I'm not sure." _Great! We've only been up here a few minutes and I'm already lying. _Luke leaned against the doorframe, crossed his arms, and stared at his shoes. They were both silent for a moment. As Luke looked down, Jess took in the room in front of him and sighed.

Luke observed him. _What's he doing?_

"Did you…did you think…hope…that I'd be coming back?" Jess' gaze reached his Uncle's before he stood up and moved to the old dresser.

_Oh, no._

Then the dam broke. And water went everywhere.

"No…Well, I don't know. You just left so suddenly! And part of me thought that you just had to see for yourself. See what else is out there. I believed that you just had to experience something else. Another life that didn't involve baggage. You had so much baggage for Christ Sake Jess! So, much goddamn baggage!" Luke had found his way to the bed and sat in the same position that Jess was in earlier.

_Shit._

"Lu…Luke?" Jess was looking in the mirror and could see his Uncle's dejected countenance in the reflection.

"Yeah Jess?" His eyes closed. _I'm not going to cry again. Not this time._

"I'm…I'm really sorry. For everything." Jess' head hung limply from his thin neck as he took a deep breath in.

Luke's eyes opened, he leaned over his knees, and clasped his hands in front of him, chin to chest.

"I know you are…I accept." Jess turned sharply to meet his glare and they gave each other a small smirk. _I'm glad that's over._

"I have some news."

"Ah, yes…the news. What is that news? You're not going into the army now are you?" Luke tilted his head awaiting his response. _Please say no._

"No…I uh…Well, I graduated." Luke's eyes widened considerably as Jess pierced his lips together and grinned.

"You graduated?" Luke shifted on the bed. _Graduated!_

"Yeah…I got my GED and…Now I'm going to college." Jess leaned back on the dresser behind him.

"College? You're serious?" Luke got up and stepped closer to him._ College!_

"Completely. I'm just going to a technical school for now, just to get my generals out of the way, but I hope to go to a University a couple of years down the road."

Luke was silent, shock still apparent in his expression. _University?_

"Well? What do you think?"

College… 

Luke was so overwhelmed by his admission that he grabbed Jess and hugged him closely to his body.

"I think that it's great…"

Jess reluctant at first, finally returned the hug and patted his Uncle on the back.

"I guess what you said finally stuck."

They pulled apart and Luke's hands went to his hips. Jess' went to his pockets.

"What did I say?"

"That I have to graduate and go to college. That I have to prove to everyone else, including myself, that I can do something more with my life then working at Wallmart.

Luke laughed full-heartedly.

"Good to know."

"I'm not working at Wallmart even now. I got a job at a Barnes and Noble. Still one of those corporate nightmares but I get discounts on books, which is always good to have."

"Yeah that's true."

Again the room was soundless as the two men reflected on their conversation. _A new job…School…different hair…wow…he wasn't kidding when he said he had news._

Luke spoke first this time.

"Are you hungry? We can go to the house and have some dinner. You still have to see Lorelai."

Luke headed toward the apartment door. _College…college…college…_

"Yeah…I'd like that very much."

They walked to the house. It wasn't far and the autumn nights seemed to become more pleasant with each passing day. The town was pretty empty considering it was a Tuesday night, but it was still well lit, the stores still open for a few more hours. As they passed by one particular building Jess began to snigger.

"What?" Luke turned to him as they continued to walk.

"I can't believe that half of these businesses are still running. The Chat Club, Porcelain Paradise…It's just…crazy."

Luke shuffled his feet and smiled. _The whole town is certifiable…_

"Yeah nothing's changed."

"Not nothing…I mean look at you." Jess pointed at him and kicked a rock into the street.

_Me?_

"I haven't changed." He said it partly in disbelief and partly in modesty.

"Haven't' changed? The town bachelor. Born and bred here in Stars Hollow. Figured to be single for life, now married with a bundle of joy on the way. You can't tell me that you haven't changed. You…have become the product of a woman my man." Jess slapped his shoulder and they shared a laugh. _And it's all worth it._

"Yeah…Well, I always wanted it. I just wasn't sure I was ready, that I could handle the crying and the feeding. And that's just Lorelai."

They laugh together.

"If it weren't for her though…I'd still be living alone and serving grease to a bunch of mental cases."

Jess noted his contentment.

"You still serve mental cases…"

And he immediately regrets continuing the topic.

"But now I don't live alone."

He noticed how his face fell. He grasped for a new topic.

"When is she due?" He gave him a questioning glance.

"Well…the doctor says at the end of March, but Lorelai is **convinced** that she won't have the baby until April 1st."

Jess seemed perplexed.

Luke snorted audibly. _He doesn't get it._

"April 1st is April Fools Day…"

Jess simply responded by grapping his gut and laughing hysterically.

When they reached the house a few minutes later, Jess viewed the lot in its entirety. He noticed the great white pillars, the two level porch, and the beautiful red brick. This house was made for his Uncle. Strong, sturdy, carefully constructed, and handsomely detailed. They made their way up the porch and into the foyer. The woodwork was all Luke but the interior décor was utterly Lorelai. The colors were deep purples and rich Burgundies. There were a million pictures and personal knickknacks. They instantly made their way down a large hallway to enter the kitchen. At the counter island, on a vintage looking bar stool, sat Lorelai Danes, eating Chinese takeout from a carton and reading Cosmo magazine. She looked up immediately when she heard them enter and Luke chuckled when he saw a chow mien noodle hanging loosely from her lips. _Even adorable with food hanging out of her mouth._

She finished chewing as he made his way toward her. When he reached her side he placed his hand on her upper back and leaned in to give her a delicate kiss. When he pulled away from her they were both smiling and Lorelai put her chopsticks into the carton and made her way toward Jess.

"Hey, Jess…It's good to see you." She placed a light kiss on his cheek and gave him a friendly embrace.

"You too…" He looked down at the small bump of her stomach.

"You're hardly showing." Jess gave her a smile and she returned it before making her way back to her husband.

"Yeah, well, not for long. I've been eating so much…"

"What's new about that?" Luke joked. She jabbed him in the stomach with her elbow and he groaned softly. Jess chuckled.

"So, Jess how was your flight here?" She went to sit at the table, which was in a small breakfast nook (just a few steps away and down from the counter she was not so long ago perched at), and gestured for the men to join her.

They did.

"Not so bad. A little turbulence over the Rockies but, there's nothing new about that."

"I like the hair. It suits you."

He ran his hand through it self-consciously.

"Thank you. It was kind of an impulse. I just got really tired of styling the old one. Besides it was getting way too long." _Long?_

"How long was it?" She asked, genuinely interested.

"Um…almost to my shoulders." _Shoulders?_

Her mouth opened and her eyes widened.

"Wow…Do you have pictures?" 

Both men laughed at her immense interest.

Jess looked at her seriously.

"No…I burned them all."

Later that night after they had all eaten, talked, and turned in, Lorelai snuggled up to her husband in bed and began to ask him how it all went.

"So? Did you talk to him?"

_Here it comes._

He rubbed her bare arm absent-mindedly.

"Yeah…He asked why I didn't change his room."

"Really?"

"Uh huh. He told me that he's sorry."

"I bet that made you feel good."

A little… 

"Yeah…He really meant it."

They held each other silently for a moment, stroking skin, and hair, comforting each other.

"If we have a girl…We should name her Jessica."

Huh? 

He looked down at her then and gave her a look of uncertainty.

"I think that Jess would be a cute girls name."

He nodded and then tickled her side.

"I thought we were going to name her Lorelai." He shot teasingly.

They both giggled and wrestled each other, giving playful kisses and touches before they felt fatigued and drifted into peaceful slumber.

A/N: Okay…it's shorter than I thought it would be. But do not fear…I'll update again before tomorrow! I have a few days off of work so I have plenty of time! Let me know what you think of the story and tell me if there should be a meeting between Jess and Rory. I'm not quite sure if that's going to happen right now…Let me know what you want to read!

**Rusty**


	4. Early Morning Future

**Thank you for all the marvelous reviews…You're all dolls! **

**If you like pina coladas…and getting caught in the rain…you know that I couldn't possibly own any rights to this show…Just some random ideas…**

**Enjoy!**

When Luke woke up the next day he had an overwhelming fear that Jess had taken off again. He sat up quickly in bed waking Lorelai in the process and had begun getting out of bed when Lorelai' s hand grasped the thigh next to her.

"He's still here." She assured. _How does she do that? How does she always know what I'm thinking?_

"I just… I need to see it for my self." He looked down at her sleepy form and felt her hand loosen its grip on his thigh.

"Make sure you come back to bed right away. Not only are you going to sleep in today Mister but I also wanted to gloat a little when you get back. Maybe do an 'I told you so jig'? Although I don't have my costume, it's at the cleaners so, I'll be dancing in my birthday suit."

He climbed out of bed and leaned down to kiss her neck softly.

"I'm looking forward to it."

_He's not going to be there. He's gone again. He said what he came here to say. Why should he stay any longer?_

Luke stood outside of the guest room door debate whether to knock or to just peek inside. It was still too early in the morning for Jess to be awake. And if he knocked and woke him up, he'd have to come up with some sort of excuse to cover up the lie. _On the other hand he could sleep in the buff…Knock or enter? Well I'm a terrible liar so…here goes nothing._

He opened the door with his hand up to his face just in case there was an immediate need for a shield. There was no need and Luke was relieved to see Jess, sprawled out on the yellow flowery bedspread, sawing logs like there's no tomorrow. _He's still here._

When he had returned to his own bedroom he was not surprised to find Lorelai already fast asleep and hogging almost all the bed and all the covers. _I'm awake already anyway._

He tucked in his dreaming wife, and closed the door softly behind him.

Luke made his way downstairs and into the kitchen where he poured himself a glass of orange juice and sat at a bar stool at the counter. Across from him was the microwave clock with bright glowing blue numbers, which radiated in the partially darkened room.

_6:47am._

_Well I did sleep in an extra two hours._

Luke hated not having anything to do. Idle hands and what not. He soon found himself in the baby's room working on building the crib. He had the wood cut already all he had to do was assemble the pieces together. As he began screwing each piece to another his mind began to wander.

_What if it's a boy? Will he like to play sports? Will he be really smart like Rory and study all day long? Will he end up married with a family of his own in the next twenty-five years? And if it's a girl, will she be just like her mother, beautiful and vibrant? Will I have to protect her from the guys that just want her for one thing? Will I have to buy her Barbie's and play tea party with her and her dolls? Will they love me or despise me as soon as they hit puberty?_

He continued to run these questions through his mind.

He was half way through the assembly when he heard a soft knock on the door. He looked up to find Jess leaning on the doorframe with a big smile on his face. His gaze traveled around the room as he stepped inside.

"You haven't painted it yet." Jess found his way to Luke's side where he immediately sat down next to him.

"No, not yet. We want to wait a little bit longer. She can't decide if she wants to go with yellow or if she wants to do some sort of patterned wallpaper." Luke set the screwdriver down and leaned back on his hands, Jess did the same.

"Are you going to find out the sex before she has the baby?"

"It's all up to her. I wouldn't mind not knowing. You know have it as a surprise on the same day but, if we find out earlier, I wouldn't really care too much." Luke shrugged and looked at the Stuffed chicken to his left. It was Rory's and she left it at the house for her sibling. Jess noticed where his attention went and instantly regretted looking. He knew that stuffed animal from when he and Rory dated. Luke observed his attitude change and felt the need to ask his motive behind it.

"Don't like Colonel Cluckers?" Luke smiled, making the question more lighthearted then he had intended.

"He reminds me of Rory." Jess was looking at his outstretched feet now. Anything to avoid Luke's telling face.

"She's coming home this weekend you know? She wants to go with us to Lorelai' s doctor appointment."

Jess instantaneously looked up at Luke in disbelief. Rory was coming. And he would defiantly cross paths with her.

"Jess…Are you going to be okay with this?"

Jess looked up at his uncle and smiled.

"Yeah…It'll be just fine…"

_Good._

"So, what do you want to do today?" Luke began to stand up and stretch. _I'm definitely not as young as I used to be._

"Well, I don't know…Want to throw a few?"

Luke's mouth dropped open.

_What?_

"You mean as in baseball?"

Jess stood up and faced him nodding vigorously.

"Yeah…As in baseball…I know you use to play. I thought you might be a little rusty. And if we have another Danes man coming in the family…He's going to need a dad who's not so out of practice."

Luke smiled and put his arm around Jess' shoulders.

"Am I really that old?"

They both laughed and exited the room. Luke peered back around the corner and took one last look of the room. _Another Danes…_He smiled reflectively before turning out the light.

**A/N: Sorry it's kind of short. I have to work. They called me in and I thought I had the day off to write so…I'll do another chapter sometime this weekend. Hope you like this one! Rory will be showing up in the next chapter. I promise it will be mostly about Luke though. I'm not the biggest fan of the Jess/Rory relationship. I just think they need some closure! Maybe some naked Luke? We should all get so lucky!**

**Rusty**


	5. Remembering

**Thanks for all of the reviews…I'm loving you all like a $2 whore!**

**Someone wanna beat the bongos while I sing my little tune…Not mine, not mine, so fine, but not mine…Oooh…Just imagined Luke as my back up dancer…This day just keeps getting better! **

**Warning…Gets a little hot…but nothing graphic or too suggestive…**

Luke walked quietly into the bedroom to get ready. Lorelai was still asleep and Luke didn't want to wake her. She had been working too much for her current state and he wanted her to relax, for her sake and for the baby's.

He moved to the dresser where he grabbed a pair of gray boxer briefs and a pair of socks. He then walked to the closet where he took a pair of jeans and a red flannel shirt off their hangers. He had completely removed his clothes and was about to pull on his boxers when a voice startled him.

"Why didn't you wake me if you were going to put on a show?"

Luke looked back at his wife with red cheeks as he quickly pulled up his boxer briefs. He sauntered toward the bed and crawled up her body until they were face to face. He kissed her once, twice, and then it was deepened. Tongue and teeth, desire and fervent arousal. She began to sit up and slide to the side. Luke, understanding the motives of her movement, rolled onto his back. She then stratteled him and sat up straight.

"What a compromising position I have you in Mr. Danes." She gave him a mischievous and sexy smirk before she reached down to the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. She was exposing herself to him completely, expecting to get what she wants. _Every time she does this…She knows I can't say no. She gets more and more beautiful everyday. _He reached up and caressed her cheek. She leaned into his touch then turned her head to kiss his palm affectionately. _Wait…Jess…_She had that fiery look in her eyes and he knew that she was going to do something quite wicked. He had to stop her before anything else happened. But when he tried to get up she placed her hands on his bare pecks and pushed him back down into the mattress.

"Where do you think you're going Mister…You're in big trouble for not coming back to bed this morning. And you are going to be punished!" She began moving over him and Luke knew immediately that this was the wrong time for this.

_This woman is insane…and sexy…and why the hell am I pushing her away?_

There was knocking at the door. _That's why…_The initial sound made Lorelai scurry off of Luke, grab her shirt off of the floor, and pull it over her head. Luke began to chuckle as Lorelai shot him an, 'it's not funny' glare.

"Um…Luke are you ready to go?" Jess' muffled voice came through the door.

"Yeah, just about…Just give me another minute, okay?" Luke stood up and grabbed his pants, pulling them up and over his hips.

"Just…Please don't do anything dirty…I'm patient…but I'm not _that _patient."

God damn kid… 

"Very funny Jess."

Lorelai had made her way back to the bed and sat half cross-legged on the edge giving Luke a knowing smile.

"What?" His eyebrows furrowed toward his nose.

Lorelai curled her finger in front of her face beckoning him to come to her. He sighed and complied.

"I have to go." He said standing in front of her. Still shirtless with his gray briefs peeking out of his unbuttoned jeans.

She responded by grabbing his zipper, eliciting a gasp from Luke, and pulling it up as far as it could go. She concluded by putting the button through its hole, letting her fingers linger at his bellybutton. She stroked the hair that trailed down and kissed his stomach, he moaned in pleasure.

"You better go…or you'll never get out of here." She said pushing him lightly away from her.

"Yeah…Don't want Jess to think…to know what we're _doing_ and _when_ we're doing what we're _doing_." He turned from her and picked up his T-shirt throwing it over his head. Then he pulled the flannel through each arm and buttoned it up. He finished by placing the blue cap, in its usual position on his head.

When he turned back to her she was laying on her back, propped up against the headboard, watching him intently. He made his way to her and kissed her twice sweetly. Resting his hand on her stomach as he sat on the edge of the bed. _Man do I love her…_

"I wont be too long. Maybe a couple of hours."

She nodded and stroked his cheek.

"What are you going to do?" He was tracing patterns over the baby and it made her body tingle.

"I'm thinking of going skydiving. Either that or bungee jumping I just can't quite decide." He gave her an amused grin.

"Well, have _fun_ but don't be gone too long…you and the baby need to rest." He punctuated _rest_ by kissing her on the nose.

"I _have_ to go to the inn you know? I do own it."

Jeeze… 

"And I own the diner but that doesn't mean either of us needs to spend every waking moment there, until we're worn down into the ground, now does it?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…This from the man who, in the past eight years has taken about two months off."

"Yeah, but I was never pregnant."

She sat up straight and grabbed his arm.

"Oh, my god! You've seen 'Junior' with Arnold the Governator right? I mean men just aren't meant to have babies…I swear that movie scarred me for life."

Luke shook his head.

"Oh, that's what scarred you for life. I thought is was David Hasslehoff's singing?"

"A little of both…" She pinched her fingers together.

"I have to go…"

As he got up from the bed she grabbed his arm.

"Don't go…"

"I wont be long and besides…I thought you still had to call Rory…to tell her…"

"Yeah, I do…"

"Okay then…I will see-you-later."

He kissed her forehead before leaving the bedroom.

Jess was waiting for him in the foyer with a sly grin, all ready to go.

"You say anything and I'll pretend to _accidentally_ throw a ball at your head." Luke grabbed the bag he had by the door, and then picked up the bat next to it. He noticed Jess was chuckling lightly and shaking his head. Luke shot him a death glare.

Jess held up his hands.

"What? I didn't say anything!"

He remembers the first time he held him. It was at the hospital. He had been waiting impatiently outside the room, waiting for Liz to have the baby. He doesn't remember much except for how sick he felt being there, and how uncomfortable her cries made him.

It was hours of discomfort.

And when it was all over the nurse told him he could go inside. He hesitated at first but eventually found his feet moving forward.

When he opened the door, he saw Liz cradling a small blue bundle in her arms.

_A boy…_

She had a look of wonderment on her face, as she touched the tips of the baby's tiny fingers with her own gigantic index.

He cleared his throat as he stood there watching, he still felt comfortable, because now it was as if he were interrupting an intimate moment between mother and child. _This is weird…_

When he met Liz's eyes, a saw that she had a big grin on her face.

"Hey big bro…you have to come here and see him. He is _so_ cool!" Luke sighed inwardly. This young girl was going to raise a baby, a baby that could have well been a brother, or…a nephew.

_Nephew._

He met his destination and peered down at the baby. _Wow he's really small…and pink…and kind of alien looking…_

"Wanna hold him?" Liz was looking up to her big brother, an action she was so accustom to physically and metaphorically.

Luke at that particular moment, looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"I don't think I should." He said, he was nervous…extremely nervous.

_This is not at all difficult…Nothing odd about my baby sister having…a baby._

"So, what you're never going to hold your nephew?" _She's angry, I can tell…damn it…_

"I've haven't held a baby for a really long time…Since…Well, since you were one." He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"It's not hard…If I can do it…you can do it." She looked as if she really wanted him to hold the baby. _I guess it wouldn't hurt…_

"Okay…"

Liz's face lit up into a beam.

"Hold your arms out." _Here goes nothing._

Luke followed her instructions and Liz handed the baby gently over to him. Her hands lingered until Luke brought the baby into his chest. As Luke looked down, he saw that the baby was observing his behavior, learning his face, developing sense and movement. This dumbfounded Luke. _Wow…_

"He really likes you…" Liz was watching them carefully, admiring the view of her protector and her new son and she became overwhelmed with a sense of relief. She was worried about raising the baby when she first found out she was pregnant. First it was the part about being so young, and Jimmy, but then it became simply about not knowing…_anything_. But she knew now…she knew that she always had Luke to depend on, to lean on, to rely on. And if things ever got really bad she could just call Luke and he would be there to rescue them, her and her baby boy. Because Luke would never change, just like her mother.

As the baby's eyes closed, and his body relaxed into Luke's embrace, Luke smiled and looked over at his sister. _He so…small._

"Liz?"

She had her eyes closed, Luke had noticed, and his voice had slightly startled her.

"Hmmm?"

She shifted her position in the bed, falling down into comfort.

"What are you going to call him?"

Luke looked at her, and when he did she thought that she had never saw him look so young and so much like her mother; soft and warm.

"I'm going to name him Jess…" She stated before closing her eyes once more and resting her head back onto the pillow. She began dreaming about her mother in a white cotton sundress with long chocolate curls framing her face, smiling at little Jess in her arms.

Noticing that she had fallen asleep, Luke strolled over to the chair next to the bed on the other side of his little sister, and sat down with the small sleeping baby in his arms.

_Jess…_

"Well, Jess…I'm your Uncle Luke…"

He felt a slight sting as the ball flew into his mitt, making a smacking sound against the old worn brown leather. He pulled the mitt off and shook his hand in the air.

"Where did you learn to throw like that?" Luke asked putting the glove back on and throwing the ball back to Jess.

There was a pause before he answered.

"From you…"

Me? 

"Me?" The ball came back to Luke and he cradled it back to ease the impact. _What is he talking about?_

"You don't remember?"

Luke threw the ball high into the air and shook his head.

Remember what? Wait… 

"I was five," Jess tossed the ball high up, and Luke placed his glove up over his head, catching it like you would any fly ball.

"We were in Central Park. You had just come to visit for the day because Liz had gotten herself into a mess again with some shmuck." The ball had made its way back to Jess and he rolled it between his fingers for a moment before returning it to Luke.

"So, she had to go and take care of some business with this _guy_ and she wanted you to watch me. Well, you had a problem with staying in the apartment…" Luke rolled a grounder to Jess and he squatted down, caught it and threw it immediately back to Luke.

"All I wanted to do was read but you had other ideas…We went to a store, I don't remember where but you bought two gloves and a ball and took me to the park in the middle of the day to teach me how to play baseball. And you kept getting really frustrated because one, you bought an adult sized mitt for me…" He caught the ball again and pitched back.

"And two, because I kept referring to 'Casey at the Bat'. Man did I really just want to read…"

Luke smiled and chucked the ball back to him.

"I do remember." Luke said turning his body fully toward Jess, signaling that it was time to quit. They walked toward the bleachers where they both sat, and looked over the field.

"I'm glad. You always tried Luke…Because even though at the time we didn't want you to get involved…you knew that if you didn't we would never know that what we were doing was wrong. I have made so many mistakes, and it didn't really register, you know? I didn't know they were mistakes because no one was really pointing that out. No one was steering me in the right direction. Sure Liz would get mad and say that I had to tone it down a bit, that I had to stop getting myself into so much trouble…but she didn't really try to make me stop. You tried Luke…You really tried."

They both stared down at the dirt below their feet, silent and reflective.

"I'm glad you're here Jess…Part of me wishes you'd never leave."

"Just part of you, huh?" They're eyes met and they both laughed.

"Well, if you stayed…what would you have? There's nothing you really want here."

Jess gazed at him soberly while Luke watched his feet kick at the dirt.

"I'd have a lot more here then you think…"

Luke nodded but didn't look up at him.

"I was thinking I might come back more often…You know over the summer when I'm not in school…but only if that's okay with you."

He was shocked at his statement and he grabbed his knee and leaned away from him. He was expecting Jess to laugh and tell him that it was just a joke but he looked very serious about the whole idea. _He wants to live here? _Luke's face softened into a grin.

"It's more than okay…"

They made a stop at the diner to pick up their meals before heading back to the house. They were gone until lunchtime, where they both found themselves very hungry. Luke figured by this time Lorelai was most likely "starving".

Luke walked into the house and listened for any sign of Lorelai or even maybe Rory but he didn't hear anything.

"Lorelai…We're home…"

Still no answer.

"Hey, Jess want to take the food into the kitchen. We'll be right there." Luke handed Jess the food and bounded up the stairs. He began to worry. _She's usually watching TV in the living room by now…_

He walked into the bedroom and found that she wasn't on the bed but he did notice that the bathroom door was closed. _She must be in there._

He knocked quietly, before entering.

"Sweetheart…"

He opened the door and stepped inside, to find a sleeping Lorelai, covered with bubbles, in the oversized tub. He smiled and closed the door behind him before he sauntered up to the side of the tub and kneeled down on the plush bath rug. He brushed some hair away from her face gently before kissing her on the lips. When he felt her reciprocate, he knew she was awake, and he pulled away.

"Hey…"

"Hey."

Her eyes were heavy with sleep, and she took a deep breath before closing them and opening them again.

"How was playing catch?" She was holding onto the lip of the porcelain tub and she used her hand to rub his flannel-clad forearm lovingly.

"It was good…great actually. We talked…"

"Good…" She closed her eyes again taking in the warmth of the bath water and her husband's body.

"How was your talk with Rory?"

Her eyes opened and settled on his chest.

"She's scared to visit…"

"What…Why?"

"Well, she feels really bad. The last time she saw Jess…She kind of broke his heart." Lorelai continued to rub his arm comfortingly.

"He's over it…There's nothing to worry about."

"It's going to be awkward."

"How so?"

"Luke…"

He sighed.

"Your right…I know."

_Extremely awkward._

She rested her head back against the cool tub and closed her eyes once more.

"I brought lunch…"

She jerked up excitingly to a sitting position.

_I knew that would get her going._

"Why didn't you say so before?"

They ate lunch and talked about little things. School, work…just random topics off hand. When they had finished Jess excused himself and told the two that he was going to go shopping in Hartford for a while. He had a few things to pick up before he went back to California. Luke asked if he wanted them to come with but he declined the offer and told them that he'd rather go alone. He wanted to think about a few things.

Luke and Lorelai had found themselves in the house alone again and as Luke went to get up to do the dishes Lorelai had pushed him down by the shoulders and sat on his lap facing him.

"We have something to finish Mister…" She kissed him wildly her tongue stroking the top palate of his mouth sending waves of arousal through his body. They broke apart panting with desire.

"I thought I was going to be punished?" Luke gave her a sexy smile before sucking on her skin just below her collarbone.

"Oh, believe me Mister…you are…"

Around 6:30pm the doorbell rang. Both Luke and Lorelai were snuggled up on the couch watching a movie while Jess sat on the armchair engrossed in a novel. Lorelai sprung up from her chair and jolted out of the room.

"I'll get it!" She said, already in the other room.

"Were you guys expecting someone?" Jess asked arching an eyebrow over the top of his book. Luke shrugged and returned his attention to the TV screen. When they heard two whispering female voices coming closer, they both looked up and watched as they entered the room.

_Oh no._

Luke's attention went directly to Jess and he wasn't surprised to see his reaction.

His mouth was agape and his eyebrows were into his hairline.

Luke then looked back at the two women in the entryway, one who was shifting her eyes and feet, uncomfortable in their presence.

"Hey Jess." She said, pulling some fallen hair behind her ear.

Jess lowered the book to his lap, marked his page and closed the cover before meeting her gaze for the first time.

"Hey Rory…"

**A/N: I updated! Yay! I had four hours of sleep last night and I just worked eight hours…I've only consumed two Bawls energy drinks today…let's just say I'm a little drained…I hope the writing is okay…I'm a little sleep deprived! But I'm in a good mood because I was suppose to work Tuesday night 2-10pm meaning I'd miss GG but since my boss rocks, I get to work 12-8 instead and he said I can even leave earlier so I don't miss the show…How cool is that? I mean I could tape it, but it's not the same. The excitement between commercial breaks, the annoyance that there are commercials, my hand cramp from holding the remote control and from pressing record and then pause so I only tape the show…Ahh, I love Tuesdays!**

**Rant off button being pressed…now.**

**Anywho…Let me know what you think. The next chapter is going to be a doozy!**

**P.S. Did you all like the naked Luke show? And the boxer briefs? I could lick that man from head to toe like a postage stamp…**


	6. If Only

**Next Chapter…**

**I'm warning you…I was really tired when I wrote this so I'm not sure if it makes any sense. I hope that it does though because it took me forever to figure out how to make this chapter work. Enjoy!**

It was the epitome of awkward. The situation that had been feared and avoided had now presented itself. Luke felt the change instantly. _This is bizarre._

As soon as his daughter walked into the room, he knew that this was going to be one hell of a weekend. He had to change the mood and quickly. _I gotta do something. _

"Rory…" Luke walked toward his daughter and gave her a hug, which she returned, grateful to have a distraction from Jess' stare.

"I'm glad you came home. How's work?" _Whoa, I'm talking kind of fast._ The other three noticed this as well and they all shifted uncomfortably.

"It's good…good. Um, you know, something happens and I get the scoop, write it down, and then tell the rest of the world about it."

Luke nodded and led her to the couch where he and Lorelai were previously seated._ Okay, getting better._

"Sit down, and take a load off. Are you hungry at all?"

Rory sat on the couch and looked up at Luke's shadowed form.

"No but I'll take a drink. Do you have any white wine?" Rory asked again tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Um…no actually. Since we found out your mom was pregnant we took all the alcohol out of the house. Just to avoid temptation." _Ain't that the truth?_

All four chuckled nervously and Lorelai went to sit next to her daughter on the sofa.

"I'll just take water then."

With that Luke began walking to the kitchen. As he walked he looked over to Jess and began to subtly gesture with his head for him to follow. _Come on Jess…_ Jess gave him a confused look, unsure of what his uncle was suggesting that is until Luke waved his hand toward himself signaling for him to 'come on'. _Get your ass in here!_ Jess got the picture and quietly excused himself from the living room.

Once in the kitchen Jess took a seat at the counter while Luke grabbed glasses out of the cabinet.

"So, this is a little more awkward than I thought it would be." Luke admitted putting the glasses on the island before placing his hands on the counter and leaning forward. _Way more awkward._

"Yeah, well…yeah. This is weird." Jess agreed running his hand over his short black hair.

"What do we do? I mean…Do we ignore it? Or talk about it?" 

"I have no clue! How the hell should I know? It's not like I've ever had an ex girlfriend who is also a cousin…"

Luke looked perplexed. _Cousin?_

"I never thought of it like that before. Huh? That is weird. Extremely weird."

Jess nodded. Luke sighed.

"I haven't seen her since I asked her to go away with me."

Away with… 

Luke looked up from the counter with a shocked expression.

"You asked her to go away with you? When was this?"

Jess got up from his chair and opened the refrigerator door.

"After Liz's wedding. I went to Yale and found her there with Dean. I told her I wanted to be with her but not here. Not…This can't get any worse."

Jess closed the refrigerator and glanced at Luke who was currently shaking his head, his eyes closed, and his head low. _This is bad._

"If only you had gotten it together sooner."

Jess slid down the front of the refrigerator and sat on the floor. His head hit the appliance with a thud.

"Yeah…If only." He replied.

They had turned in early that night. Not wanting to prolong the embarrassment any longer. After both of the young adults had gone to bed, Luke and Lorelai finally made their way upstairs to their room. Lorelai went into the bathroom to brush her teeth while Luke took off his clothing and changed into his pajamas.

"Well, this has been an eventful evening." Lorelai's muffled voice came from the bathroom.

"Yeah…eventful." Luke replied slipping on his black T-shirt and his gray sweats. _Eventful doesn't even begin to describe it. First with the odd conversations, then with the spilling of the water, then with Rory telling us that David had moved out…_

Lorelai came out of the bathroom to find her husband already laying on his back across the bed, his arms over his eyes to shield out the bathroom light.

"Luke…Is there something wrong?"

She sat next to him and rubbed his forearm. He moved his arms above his head so he could look at her. _Yeah there's something wrong. _ He could see the concern in her face and he knew the only way to remove it was by telling her the truth.

"This situation is worse than we thought."

She nodded knowledgably at his and gave him a half smirk.

"I know."

"You…" _Right she and Rory talk about everything. Of course she knows!_

"She doesn't hate him for it. Not at all. It's just kind of different for her to see him now. After everything they've gone through, so far away from one another. Both are very different people from what they use to be but there's that past, that history. And it will always be there, and seeing one another will just remind them of that."

_If anyone knows, it's her._

Luke nodded and rubbed Lorelai's knee comfortingly.

"He's her Christopher." She confessed moving to lie against the headboard.

Luke looked up at her then with a thoroughly confused face.

Huh? 

"He wasn't ready for what she wanted. Wasn't ready to commit to her, to be there. He wanted to be free from strings and attachment but he still wanted her. He had to chose between leaving or having her, and when he found out he couldn't have both, he chose the one that he _thought_ would be easier, not knowing that it was going to be twice as hard. Then he came back, and he asked for her to be with him, to change herself to be with him. But since he wasn't willing to change for her, why the hell should she change for him? If he couldn't get it together…then it wasn't going to work. And now he's here, and he's gotten it together, and he's right where he should be, but it's too late, she's moved on. Just like it was with Christopher and me. I moved on, with you. I found what I had been looking for, and I wasn't going to give it up for something that was in the past."

_God, I love her._

He propped himself up on his elbow and found her lips with his own. When they broke away Lorelai was crying.

"Hey, sweetheart? What's wrong?"

She shook her head and settled herself against his chest.

"I don't know if Rory has moved on."

Luke took her in his arms and held her close. _She still worries…_

"I think she's still in love with him." She divulged snuggling into his side.

"He's still in love with her." He kissed the top of her head lightly and remained there.

"I just want it to work out. It's all I ever wanted for her. I don't want her heart to be broken again. It's happened too many times. Dean, Logan, David…I just want her to happy."

"Me too, honey. Me too. I just want them both to be happy." He felt her kiss his chest, before she relaxed completely. _Happy…together?_

"Do you think it will happen?" She whispered stroking his stomach.

He held her closer and sighed.

"Yeah…I do…I really do."

A/N: Hope you liked that chapter. I'll get the next one up on either Thursday or Friday. There will be a Rory/Jess scene and also a little bit of Richard and Emily. Let me know what you think! I'm going to watch tonight's episode now! YAY!

Rusty


	7. Not Again

**Wow…Being nineteen is harder than I thought it would be. Sorry I didn't update sooner. I've been taking my assessment tests and writing my essays for school. I start next month so I'm down to the wire now. To make it up to you, this chapter is going to be a little longer. I hope that it will suffice.**

**Thanks for all of the reviews! You guys are sweet as a Luke's Cherry Danish!**

_What time is it?_

A groggy Luke woke up the next morning to find the sun already shining and an empty space next to him. When he rolled over to check the time he was surprised to find that he had slept in. Really slept in.

_10:26am? How in the hell did that happen?_

He immediately threw the covers off and jumped into the shower. As soon as he had the water running he remembered the conversation between he and his wife the previous night.

"_I just want it to work out. It's all I ever wanted for her. I don't want her heart to be broken again. It's happened too many times. Dean, Logan, David…I just want her to happy."_

"_Me too, honey. Me too. I just want them both to be happy." He felt her kiss his chest, before she relaxed completely. 'Happy…together?'_

"_Do you think it will happen?" She whispered stroking his stomach. _

_He held her closer and sighed._

"_Yeah…I do…I really do."_

As he stepped out of the shower he found the white terry cloth towel on the rack, and wrapped it around his waist. He walked toward the sink and wiped the steam from the mirror. When he saw his reflection, he frowned.

_That sleep didn't do me any good._

He noticed that he looked twice his age, and he quickly realized why.

_I worry too much._

Pushing his way out of the overheated bathroom he went to the closet to begin dressing.

"Luke?"

When he turned around he found his dressed wife closing the door behind her and stepping closer to the bed.

"Hey. Why did you let me sleep?" He asked straitening the waistband of his underwear.

"Um…You looked like you needed it." Lorelai confessed her hand rubbing the small bump on her stomach. He recognized that something was wrong.

_She looks nervous._

"Lorelai, is there something wrong? You look upset, and a little anxious." Luke made his way toward her and placed a hand on her stomach, ducking down to meet her gaze. "What's wrong?" He inquired once more, and became even more worried as she shook her head.

"It's Jess." Luke stepped back from her then and ran a hand over his frightened expression.

"What happened?" He questioned leaning back to sit on the bed. She moved to stand before him, running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know. He wasn't here when I woke up, and he still hasn't come back." She admitted letting out the breath she had been holding since she walked into the room.

_He's gone. I knew it was all too good to be true._

"Is that why you didn't wake me?"

She nodded.

"I'm sorry, baby. I really am." She held his head in her hands and brought him to her stomach. She felt his breathing increase, and she realized then, that he was going to cry.

_I can't do this. No, come on man. He's gone. Leave it at that._

He lifted his head and looked her in the eyes, tears on the verge of spilling.

"I have to finish getting ready." He stood up and turned away from her, before grabbing his T-Shirt off the end of the bed and pulling it over his head.

"Luke, don't let this fester. It'll only make it worse." She pleaded moving toward him and grabbing his shoulder.

He shrugged her hand off.

_I shouldn't have done that._

He could feel the change in the air. She wasn't disappointed in Jess for taking off now. She had moved past that. She was disappointed in _him_, for ignoring the problem and pushing her away.

_Why do I do this? Why do I hurt the ones I love?_

"You're going to have to get over this, but you can't do it alone. You've tried that before, Luke. God dammit! You can't just push me away. I'm not the one who left. You know that, and I know that. So, don't treat me that way."

He turned to look at her now. Her eyes were glossy, and he instantly felt guilt punch him in the gut.

_Who am I? I treat my pregnant, loving wife, like…like…god I'm an idiot._

"I'm sorry. I…I'm such moron."

He nearly ran to her, and swept her up in his arms.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too." She whispered in his ear. "Now let's go. We can't be late for the appointment."

Luke, Lorelai, and Rory sat in the waiting room of the doctor's office while soft jazz played in the background. Rory was looking at "Time" magazine, while Luke and Lorelai were holding hands and talking softly to one another.

"Did you talk to Rory about it?" Luke murmured into her ear. She looked at him and nodded her head.

"There's a pretty long story behind that. I'll tell you when we get home." He signaled that he was all right with that before looking back at the room in front of him.

_I hate doctor's offices. The smell. The elevator music. The fake friendliness. They just want you money so they can add on to their beach house in Malibu. Damn doctors._

A nurse walked into the waiting room reading the chart in her hand before looking up at the trio.

"Lorelai Danes?"

Both Luke and Lorelai nodded.

"The doctor is ready to see you now."

The nurse led the three into the examination room. Lorelai, followed by Luke, with Rory trailing closely behind, entered the bright white room with slight trepidation.

As the nurse weighed Lorelai and took her temperature, Luke and Rory sat in the chairs in the corner smiling at her reassuringly.

_This is what we've been waiting for. To see our baby. Our baby. Wow…_

Just then the doctor entered the room. It was a woman probably in her mid forties. She was tall with short blonde hair, and immediately Luke was reminded of Nichole. He didn't know why, something about her resembled Nichole. He hadn't thought about his ex-wife since he started dating Lorelai, except for when she would ask Luke questions about his failed marriage.

_That's my wife. Blunt as can be._

The doctor instantly greeted them and smiled a friendly and reassuring face.

"So, your about 15 weeks now and from the looks of the nurses notes here everything is going as well as it can. You've gained the ideal amount of weight, and you haven't had any pains at all, correct?"

Both Luke and Lorelai nodded.

"Yes, everything has been going very smoothly. Better than my first, that's for sure."

Lorelai smiled at Rory. Rory stuck out her tongue. They all laughed.

"So, this is your daughter?"

"Yeah, at least we think." The doctor laughed.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, I'm Dr. Smith." She shook Rory's hand.

"Nice to meet you too." Rory replied.

The doctor looked at Luke then.

"And this is Rory's and the baby's father?" The doctor asked looking back at Lorelai.

"Oh, no. Luke is just my husband and the current baby's father. I had Rory before I even knew Luke."

"I'm sorry. How presumptuous of me. Mr. Danes," She took his hand, "It's very nice to meet you."

_Fake._

Maybe it's because she resembled Nichole, or maybe it's because she was a little rude, but Luke did not like this woman very much.

_She is fake as fake can be._

"Yeah, you too." He responded shortly before looking away from her and out the window. Lorelai was the only one to actually notice her husband's impolite greeting, and she gave him a look of disapproval before she returned her attention to the doctor.

"Well, Mrs. Danes…"

"Please call me Lorelai." She smiled rubbing her stomach softly.

"Lorelai, I'm going to have you lay down and put your feet up. Then I'm going to lift your gown and start the ultrasound. Are you ready?" The doctor turned off the overhead light. Leaving just a faint glow from the light on the wall.

"Yep." Lorelai did what the doctor had asked as Luke and Rory watched.

"Mr. Danes, Rory, you can come over here and watch the monitor with Lorelai if you'd like."

They strolled over to Lorelai's side, and Luke took her hand as the doctor prepared the area with jelly.

_We're going to see our baby._

Husband and Wife smiled at each other and at Rory before turning their attentions to the monitor. As the doctor moved the device around on Lorelai's stomach, Luke began to forget about Jess, and the fact that the doctor looked like Nichole, and focused completely on the screen in front of him. Soon the camera stopped and there on the monitor was the baby.

The doctor's finger pointed to the screen.

"There's the head, and a leg. There's a hand. Do you see it?"

_Whoa…_

"Yeah…I see it." Lorelai said, choking on the words as tears of happiness trailed down her cheek. "Do you see it, Rory?"

Rory nodded and grinned joining her mother in tears.

"Yeah…Look at the little hand." She pointed. They both laughed.

The girls then turned their attention to Luke, who was just staring in wonderment. Mouth agape, eyes fixated.

"Luke honey? Do you see it?"

He snapped out of his daze and stared at the tear stained face of his wife.

"Yeah…I see it." He smiled at her, and kissed her lips sweetly, before looking up at the screen.

_A Baby._

The entire town was aware of the appointment and when the three entered the diner for a late lunch, they were immediately hounded with questions. The girls sat down at the table as they waited for Luke to put in their orders.

Patty and Babette joined them instantaneously.

"Hey dolls, how did it go?"

"Lorelai, no one could even tell that you're pregnant."

The girls talked with the two gossips, showing them the ultrasound pictures, and again reluctantly discussing names.

"What about Enrique for a boy?" Miss Patty suggested bobbing her eyebrows.

Lorelai laughed and declined.

"But why honey…You know he'll be a lover instead of a fighter."

"Yes, but Enrique Danes doesn't really fit."

Babette jumped in her chair.

"Ooh…how about Clint? I always did have a thing for Eastwood. That smoldering sexy glare of his. Rar! What a hunk."

Lorelai shook her head once more.

"I don't think so. I think if it's a boy it's going to be William."

Both women 'oo'd and ahh'd'.

"After Luke's dad? That's so sweet, honey." Patty stated patting her hand.

"Did you tell Luke?" Babette asked.

"We haven't really discussed names at length yet, but I'm sure he'll like it."

"Mom, he'll love the idea. Tell him when he comes back to the table." Rory suggested, noticing that Luke was in fact on his way over.

"We're going to go doll. Glad we could see the pictures."

"Bye, Babette. Bye, Patty." The girls waved as the two women went back to their own table by the window.

Luke handed each of the girls a glass of water, sat down on the chair next to Lorelai, and greeted her with a quick kiss.

"So, William, huh?" Luke smiled at her and gave her a playful knowing look.

"You eves dropper!" She smacked his arm, which caused him to laugh.

"I like it." He grabbed her hand and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.

"You do?" She asked in a sing-song voice.

"Yes, I do."

_William Danes._

"Are we going to name her Lorelai if she's a girl?" Rory joked before taking a sip of the water in her hand.

Luke and Lorelai both chuckled and shook their heads.

"We agreed that it's your name to use now. If you ever have a girl, be our guest and carry on the family name." Lorelai replied.

All three laughed but soon stopped when the bell above the diner jingled and they saw the man who was entering.

_Jess._

Luke stood up and made his way toward his nephew.

"What's going on?" Luke asked angrily his hands grasping his hips tightly.

"Can we talk outside?" Jess pointed over his shoulder, and when Luke acknowledged his request they made their way through the door.

"Honey, I'll be right back." Luke stated opening the door with a jingle.

"Okay."

_Yeah…okay._

Once outside the two men sat staring at each other silently, each waiting for the other to speak first.

"I'm sorry I left this morning. I probably had you freaked out."

_Freaked out?_

And that was it.

"Freaked out, Jess? Freaked out? I thought you took off again. No note, no 'Hey Luke I have to go pick something up at the market. I'll be back in a jiff'. Nothing Jess! You can't do this anymore. I'm not going to take it. I don't deserve it, and neither do the girls. Lorelai had to tell me. She looked sick just doing it. And then I was so pissed…that I treated her like shit, my own wife! What is it that you want from me Jess? If you don't want to be here than leave. Don't mess around with me anymore. I'm too old. I've been disappointed too many times and now when my life is going so well…I got to see pictures of my baby for the first time, and I've never been so happy. So, you can't come in here and just crap all over it! Not this time!"

Luke dropped his head and sucked in a breath. When he looked back up at Jess, he noticed that he had tears in his eyes.

_Jess doesn't cry._

"I should've told you where I was going." He wiped away the one stray tear that spilled over. "I just wanted to surprise you. I thought you'd have more faith in me. After we'd talked."

Luke now noticed the plastic bag in his hand.

"I got this for you and Lorelai." He held it up to Luke.

Luke took it out of his hands, opened it up, and removed the item inside.

"Jess…"

It was a teddy bear with a backwards baseball cap and a flannel shirt.

"I thought that the kid would like a teddy bear just like its dad. I'm sorry I didn't tell you where I was going. I meant it to be a surprise."

_He really has changed._

Luke put the bear back into the bag, looked up at his nephew, and quickly pulled him into an embrace.

"Thank you. I'm sorry…This is great. Thanks."

Jess nodded into his shoulder and patted him on the back before breaking the hug.

"Have you had lunch yet?" Luke asked.

Jess shook his head.

"Let's get something to eat then." He put his arm around Jess' shoulder and led him into the diner.

Later that evening, after everything had settled down, Lorelai, Rory, and Jess sat in the living room watching TV and talking while Luke prepared dinner.

"I can't believe I have to see my parents tonight." Lorelai snuggled her face into the pillow she had in her arms and pouted.

"You're the one who invited them over." Rory pointed out, flipping through the channels.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me. They hate me." Jess said leaning against the arm of the chair.

"Well, it'll be a great time for us to bond. We all get to be miserable." Lorelai stated, before suddenly getting exited and slapping the remote control out of Rory's hand before she changed the channel again.

"I want to watch this." Lorelai squealed clapping her hands in excitement.

The two twenty-somethings groaned in disgust.

"Mom this movie sucks!" Rory declared folding her arms in front of her chest.

"No it doesn't. It's a poignant tribute to surfers and FBI agents of all kind. Besides it has Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, and Gary Busey, you couldn't ask for more."

"It also has bad acting, lame action, and the cheesiest 'love story', known to man." Rory retorted.

"Exactly! It has every mockable feature in the book."

"What book?" Jess asked with a smirk.

Lorelai stumbled.

"The book."

"Called?"

"Mockable Movie Features? I don't know just watch the movie."

Rory looked at Jess, he returned the gaze and they both smiled shyly.

Just then Luke entered the room.

"Hey, better get ready. They'll be here in twenty minutes." When he noticed the TV his shoulders dropped and he sighed. "Lorelai, you better not get into that movie. You're not even dressed yet."

She leaned her head back, draping it over the couch, so she could look at him.

"I wont. I promise."

_Yeah right._

"I already bought this movie for you and I swear if you go and get ready, we can watch it later tonight after your parents leave."

"You cross your fingers and hope to die?" She grinned at him.

"Yeah, all of the above…now go get dressed." He pointed over his should toward the stairs.

She hopped up from the couch and stood in front of him. Where she have him a flirty look, and a lingering kiss, before placing her hands on his chest.

"You're the best husband ever." She kissed him again, deeper this time. They broke the kiss when they heard a voice clear.

"We don't want to see that." Jess said, Rory's head bobbing in agreement.

"It's just wrong."

Lorelai rolled her eyes and began to walk past Luke.

That was when he felt her slap his butt. Hard.

"Ow!" He rubbed his bottom in pain as she gave him a seductive smile and laughed.

_That woman._

He watched her walk up the stairs with dirty thoughts and a grin.

Fifteen minutes later Luke sat with the Rory and Jess in the living room with Lorelai nowhere in sight.

"Lorelai, hurry up. They'll be here soon." Luke yelled.

_She takes forever. Especially when it's her parents._

"I'll be right there." He heard her echoing response.

The three sat in silence and anticipation.

A minute later the doorbell rang.

And the sound of Lorelai running down the stairs sounded throughout the house.

"I'm coming!" She shouted as the others made their way into the foyer.

"Is everyone ready?" Lorelai asked, smoothing out her dress.

They all nodded.

_Here goes nothing. This I'll be a fun night._

Lorelai opened to door and instantly regretted it.

"You know you really should repave your walk. I almost fell because the cement blocks are uneven."

"Nice to see you…Mom, Dad." Lorelai mumbled through her toothy grin.

_Yep…it's going to be a fun night indeed._

**A/N: Hope you all liked this chapter. I should have the next one up before Monday. I get off of work at 2pm on Sunday so, I'm thinking I'll write the next one then. Here's a little teaser: Insane dinner party. Have a happy Saturday!**

**Rusty**


	8. Different

**I'm pleased as Patty's Founder's Day punch that you guys like this story so much. I love your reviews…Gratzie!**

**Here's a new chapter for you. It's a lot more dialogue than I'm use to…I hope you enjoy!**

_Jeeze…_

"Your mother is insane!" Luke declared while handing a dripping wet plate to Lorelai. She gladly accepted, dried it off vigorously with a dishtowel, and set it in the rack.

The night had started off fine enough. Emily's one comment about the front walk had been the only negative thing to come out of her mouth for the first half hour or so. That was until she let her tongue loose and laid into Jess.

_Jess…_

Who she hadn't seen in years but still had the same distain for as she did when she first met him.

_Jess…_

Who sat there, and took it like a man.

He endured pain equal to that of which he put Luke, Lorelai, and Rory through. But Emily yelling at him in such a manner was more punishment than the others would and could allow.

"You _Scoundrel_! You take off on the girl you were with without so much as a word. How could you do such a thing? Do you know how much that hurts?"

_Here we go…_

Lorelai looked up from her hands in shock.

"Don't make this about me mother!" She spat angrily.

"Bud out Lorelai, please."

_I gotta do something…_

Luke put up two hands in attempt to end the discussion.

"Please can we not do this, here or now? We can discuss the past at a better time. Maybe when we're not in such a delicate situation." Luke pleaded and begged for an ending but Emily gave him a glare that read nothing but 'no' and proceeded with the flogging.

_At least I tried._

"What? Are we suppose to discuss this over Sunday Tea? This conversation to me is an appropriate dinner discussion. Especially since this boy will probably take off before morning!"

Richard interjected.

"Maybe we can confer in a more calm and rational manner, Emily. The boy obviously doesn't respond to yelling."

_This is not good._

Everyone seemed to sigh at the same moment.

A long silence fell over the table.

_What are we suppose to do? Pull a Kathy Bates in 'Misery'? Tie him to the bed? Hobble him? Maybe cut out his tongue…Jeeze._

"I don't blame you for hating me, or not trusting me. What I did was undoubtedly wrong and careless, but it's in the past and…and I can tell you that of everything I've done, everywhere I've been, leaving Stars Hollow is the one thing I truly regret. But I've changed and so has everyone at this table. You can't dwell on what has past. It'll just make you miserable. Believe me I know from experience...I'm really sorry you can't move on, but for your family's sake…I pray to god that you do. Excuse me, I have to use the restroom." Jess threw his napkin on the table and stomped out of the room.

_Whoa…_

"That boy…" Emily started when Rory stood up.

"Has gone through a lot! You have no idea what he's done or about his family. If Luke, mom, and I can forgive him, so can you grandma." She takes a deep breath, "I need some fresh air."

She pushed her way out of the room ignoring the pleas from Emily and Lorelai.

_I've never seen Rory stand up to her grandparents before, and all for Jess?_

Soon the four adults left at the table heard the front door slam shut.

"I hope you two are happy." Lorelai stated looking across the table at her parents in disgust.

"Now honestly Lorelai, that boy has been nothing but trouble."

Lorelai stood up, hands on the table, a serious look in her eyes.

"Dinner is finished. I think it's time you two headed home."

"Lorelai…" Richard began.

Lorelai shook her head.

"Dad please we're all tired and angry, I think it's best we end the night here."

_Yep, I concur._

Luke stood up and placed a hand on his wife's shoulder.

"I agree. We'll try this again next week."

The grandparents stood up and left without goodbyes.

_Well, that was fun._

"I have to admit Jess handled himself really well tonight." Lorelai said placing another dish in to the rack.

"Yeah, he did. He's not still in the bathroom is he? You know dinner with the Elder Gilmore's can do that to a man. Instant indigestion."

Lorelai laughed for the first time since her parents had left and it make Luke feel more wonderful than he thought possible.

_Now that's the Lorelai I know and love._

"He and Rory are on the porch talking."

Luke gave her a shocked look.

"Really?" He asked incredulously.

_Wow…_

"Yep." She nodded throwing the dishtowel over he shoulder before facing him.

"Huh…That's the first time…"

"They've talked alone, I know."

_This is good, really, really good._

They both had hidden grins at the corners of their mouths while possibilities raced through their minds.

_Happy…together?_

Both Rory and Jess sat out on the porch steps looking out over the town. They still hadn't said anything but "hi" since Jess joined her on the step. Finally after minutes of silence, Rory spoke up.

"Sorry about my grandparents. You really don't deserve that." She confessed shuffling her feet against the pavement.

"It's all right and I did deserve it."

Rory began to reject but Jess held up his hand and stopped her.

"No. Don't say that I didn't, I did. Since I got here, I never really had the chance to talk to you."

"Jess it's fine…"

"No I…Just let me tell you." He paused searching for theright words."I'm sorry for everything. For when we were dating and I wasn't all there, then when I left, then when I asked you to leave school to go away with me. I'm just….I'm really sorry, Rory. I hate that I hurt you so much." He regarded her seriously, gazed into her eyes directly, sending his point home.

"I forgive you, Jess." She leaned into him for a moment before sitting back up and looking down the street.

"Rory?" He whispered.

She faced him and all the emotions she had felt in the past came flooding back to her.

"Hmm?"

Jess took her hand and gave it a light squeeze.

"Thank you."

She looked at him perplexed and wide eyed.

"For what?"

"For the past…"

It slowly dawned on her. She remembered the bridge, Sookie's wedding, every kiss, every touch, laugh, every emotion he had made her feel, and when she turned to face him, her eyes were glossy and reflective and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

She chuckled breathlessly.

"Your welcome."

"So, he leaves tomorrow night?" Lorelai inquired.

She and Luke were sitting on the couch. She on one end he on the other. Her feet were in his hands as he kneaded each one.

"Yeah, he has some stuff to do before school on Monday." Lorelai moaned as he hit a tense place in her arch. He pushed harder. She sighed content with his actions.

"I'm sorry." She declared.

_Huh?_

"Why?" Luke asked quite confused by her statement.

"I know that you'll miss him." She explained closing her eyes, fatigue taking over her body and mind.

"Yeah, I will…but this time it's not goodbye. This time it's different."

_Different…_

**A/N: Well, how'd you like that one? There is going to be one more chapter. It'll be pretty long I'm sure. I wish this one had a little more to it but I didn't have the time or energy to make it that meaty. I promise more with the next one! Unfortunately I have work to attend tonight so then next chapter wont be up until Tuesday night/ Wednesday afternoon. One or the other! I hope you enjoyed this chapter but please keep all hands, feet, and loose objects inside the chair until the fan fiction is at a complete stop. Thank you and please read "Disappointed" again!**

**Don't have any cases of the Mondays!**

**Rusty**


	9. Alive Again

**Sorry I lied to you all. The last chapter is over a week later than I had originally planned. I got side tracked with school starting and work and watching "GG" that I didn't have enough time to sit down and write my final chapter.**

**But without further ado here is the ending of "Disappointed". Something I know you will not be.**

**Rusty**

He had a hard time falling asleep. He just could not stop thinking about tomorrow. The day when he would have to say goodbye to Jess.

_It was going to be hard._

They were in a good place and he could not imagine losing him again.

_You're not losing him Danes. He'll be back after the semesters over for sure and he said that he would try to drop by during his breaks. He wont be gone long. It's not goodbye this time. It's more like, 'see ya later' or 'catch ya on the flip side'. Which is so eighties that I can't believe I thought he would say something like that. I know what it is. It's 'later'. Yeah, that's a very Jess thing to say. 'Later'._

Lorelai shifting to her side snapped him out of his daze. He looked over at her facing him, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth. He smiled in return because her happiness had always been contagious. He hoped she was thinking about him, or the baby, or the family they would have and that Rory would one day have as well. God, he really loved her.

_I really do._

And finally while watching and thinking about Lorelai he fell into sleep.

"Luke? Luke where are you?"

He could here her calling his name across the yard as he hid up high in his favorite Maple Tree. He would sit up there, just to get away. Away from the sadness, and the confusion, and the agony of it all.

When he had found out that she was sick he had come to this tree somewhere in the middle of the night, climbed the thick billowy branches blindly, until he found the small crook that he always sat in. He was strong in front of her, in front of Liz, in front of his dad. He was supposed to be a man; he was supposed to keep everything from falling apart. But while he was in his tree, he felt like a little boy. A little boy who cried, and clung to his knees to push away all the pain that he came from missing his childhood, the one he was raped of as soon as she came home from the doctor that day.

"Your not a kid anymore, Luke. You're a man. And a man stands up straight and takes what ever comes at him. You got that?"

He looked up at his dad with a few stray tears in his eyes and nodded his head with comprehension.

"Good. Now don't let your mom see you cry okay? It will just upset her further."

Luke stood up from the corner of the his father's hardware store in which he was sitting, dusted himself off, and stood up tall.

"That's my boy. Now go and start dinner, please."

Luke marched up the stairs with the knowledge that he was the only person who could keep his family together.

"Luke? Luke where are you?"

He climbed down from the tree and ran over to his mother. She was sitting on the front porch, a thick quilt over her legs, her eyes closed.

"You were calling me mom?"

She opened her eyes at the small boy in front of her. She wished it could all be different. She wished her son could have a real childhood. That he could experience life the way it was intended to be. But he wouldn't get that. Her own body was taking that all away from him. The life that she had promised he would have, was taken away by the same thing that had given him that promise.

"Sit with me." She didn't ask him. She knew he would no matter what.

He sat down on the wooden porch to the left of her chair. He watched her intently.

"Luke?"

Her blue eyes bore into his soul and he felt tears beginning to form. He quickly pushed them away and regarded her seriously.

"Yes mom?"

"I just wanted you to know…You're the best thing that ever happened to me." She stroked his cheek lovingly before closing her eyes and resting her head against the back of the chair. Luke nuzzled her hand and kissed it tenderly.

They sat there for hours.

The next day she was gone.

And the day after that so was the tree.

He had awoken early the next morning.

He found he couldn't sleep.

The sun wasn't even out when he rolled out of bed.

He thought of the tree immediately.

He wanted to crawl up it and cry until his father found him and forced him down.

But he knew he couldn't do that.

He had to do what was expected of him now.

He didn't want to disappoint her.

Not ever.

Especially not in _death_.

When he pulled on his jeans and T-shirt and made his way outside he had found that the morning air was unusually cool for a June morning and the grass was completely covered in dew. His shoes were soaked by the time he had reached the tool shed and he had removed them by the time he reached the tree.

He found the hatchet in his hand much heavier then it had been before when he and his father would cut wood for the fire before the first snowfall.

And as he stood in front of the beautiful tree, established alone in his yard, dark against the early morning light, he found the courage to bury the past and move on.

_HACK…_

He had made a small cut into the trunk and the beige wood stood out against the mahogany bark.

_HACK…HACK…HACK…_

Three hours later he had only a thin middle left. The sun was hot against his back now and he quickly removed his shirt to dab the sweat off of his face.

The sky was a lilac purple, the clouds were a bubble gum pink, and if he weren't trying to kill something inside of him, he would have been in awe by its beauty.

_HACK…HACK…HACK…HACK…HACK…HACK…_

_**HACK!**_

And with that the tree began to fall, tumbling down into the thick and luscious grass below.

Luke, utterly exhausted, dropped the ax and sat on the fallen trunk, his knees spread apart his head bowed down, his hand clasped together. Anyone looking at him would have thought he was praying, but he wasn't, he was cursing. Cursing god, and his father, and his mother, and the world, anything he could think of to blame for causing him the pain he felt in his heavy heart.

But he didn't cry.

Even as he continued to chop his tree into firewood.

He never cried.

He didn't want his father or his mother to be _disappointed_ in him.

After the funeral, later on that day, his father had asked him why he chopped down a perfectly good living tree.

Luke closed his eyes and shook his head in denial.

"That tree…was _dead_."

His father still didn't understand why, but he thought under the circumstances that pressing the issue would only create more complications in an already complicated situation.

He barely remembers what she was like now. He only has pieces of her in his mind. How she wore White Shoulders perfume. Or that she loved the color blue. That she had such beautiful long blonde curly hair and how he just loved to run his hands through it when she held him in her arms to comfort him from a bad dream. He remembers that she use to sing him to sleep. Simple folk and country like James Taylor or Johnny Cash or Patsy Cline. He remembers 'Baby James' and how she changed the words for him.

_  
Goodnight you moonlight ladies._

_Rock-a-bye Sweet baby Danes._

_Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose._

_Wont you let me go down in my dreams,_

_And rock-a-bye sweet baby Danes._

He would listen to his vinyl over and over and just remember her sweet voice, singing in his ear, as if she were still there. And in many ways she always would be. Every time he would look at Liz he'd see her smiling at him. Admiring his strength and his idealism. How he always kept moving on, even while the past kept catching up with him, and trying to drag him down.

As he got older, and wiser, he had regretted cutting down that tree. Allowing himself to make such a large change, to cause such longing and absence in his mind. Once his father had gone he found that he couldn't change _anything_. He was afraid to lose his parents all over again, to lose another piece of himself again. So, he kept his father's and mother's things. Some were packed away in trunks and shoeboxes, others out on display so that he could always remember, so that he could be that man. The man his parents wanted him to be. Strong, independent, caring, careful, and reflective.

He would never cut down something that was alive ever again.

It only left _him_ disappointed.

He woke up the next morning with the sun peeking through the half drawn curtains and the strong scent of shower steam and shampoo.

Stumbling out of bed he made his way to the bathroom to relieve himself. He opened the door and stepped into the foggy bathroom.

Immediately he saw damp curls and a beautiful smile peek out of the shower curtain.

"Morning, babe." She said cuddling close to the plastic curtain.

He smiled back.

"Morning."

She went back to her shower as he went to the bathroom and quickly after he heard her voice echo against the tiles.

"What should we do today?"

He flushed the toilet and he heard her scream.

"Sorry, honey." Luke chuckled at the situation. She hated when he did that.

"You're not funny Mister."

"Yeah…yeah…Now what did you ask?" He washed his hands and dried them off before closing the toilet lid to sit down.

"What should we do today? You, me, Jess, and Rory?"

_Hmm…_

Luke realized that he honestly didn't give it any thought.

"I don't know. Hadn't really thought about it."

She popped her head out once more, a confused look on her face.

"Really? Not at all?"

Luke shrugged and shook his head.

"Nope."

_Was I supposed to?_

"Well, I'll just have to think up some master plan then."

_Here we go._

"I guess we should ask Jess. It is his last day here."

She turned off the shower and climbed out grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her.

"Very true."

She began to brush her hair. Luke watched her intensely.

_I wonder how I got to be so lucky._

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

Lorelai set the brush on the counter top and walked over to him. She bent down and kissed him affectionately on the lips.

"I love you."

_This woman…_

"Love you too."

Jess didn't come up with any ideas so Lorelai suggested that they go out on a picnic. The girls could eat and talk and do whatever while the guys went fishing or played some catch. The other three thought it wasn't a bad idea and they all drove down to the lake.

"Luke?"

"Yeah, dad?"

"Do you remember when we all came here the summer before your mom passed away?"

Luke smiled and nodded.

"Yeah."

William smiled as well, casting his line back into the water.

"Your sister was crying the entire time. Said she hated fish because they smelled so bad."

They both laughed.

"And your mom just kept catching fish like there was no tomorrow. Used up all the leeches and ended up with about five bass, all of which weighed over two pounds, while we had just a couple of babies, and some sad looking Sunfish."

"I kept getting my line caught in the trees. I was a horrible caster."

William toyed with his bobber as he noticed he was getting a bite.

"You weren't that bad. Just a little inexperienced."

His bobber went completely under but he failed to hook the fish.

"Missed him."

When he didn't get another bite he reeled in his line.

"It's starting to get dark. We should head in."

William stood up and grabbed his tackle box.

Luke looked up at him.

"I think I'm going to stay out here a bit longer. See if I can catch me a bass or two."

They smiled at each other before his father walked away into the darkened woods.

That was the last time they went fishing together.

"So, what do you have to do before you get back?" Luke played with his line, attempting to attract some fish to his lure.

"I have some reading to do. Economics. Not my favorite subject but defiantly a requirement."

Luke nodded and then looked over to the girls who were laughing almost violently as Lorelai wiped whipped crème off her face. Jess followed his gaze and they both chuckled quietly at the sight.

"So, you talked to Rory?"

He noticed Jess shift uncomfortably on the bridge.

_He looks embarrassed._

"Yeah. We figured a few things out."

Luke reeled his line back in to check his bait.

_They did?_

"Are you…I mean…You two aren't…together? Are you?"

He cast his line back out into the water before returning his gaze to his nephew.

"No. Were just friends again. We thought that it was for the best."

"It is." Luke confirmed, staring seriously a Jess.

"I know."

_Good._

As they stood at the bus stop, under a dim yellow streetlight, they found it difficult to let go.

_God this is hard._

Jess hugged him, Luke returned it, they patted each other's backs, and then they pulled away.

Luke mussed up his short hair before pushing him toward the bus.

"Keep in touch, Jess."

Jess smiled and nodded.

"I promise, I will. I wont disappoint you."

Luke looked down at the pavement and before returning his gaze and giving him an assuring smile.

"I know."

They waved goodbye to one another as the bus began to drive off.

_This is beyond hard. Difficult. Impossible._

He stood there until he couldn't see the bus anymore. This time as he watched his nephew disappear into the darkness, he realized that he wasn't disappointed that he was leaving. He didn't feel like he had lost a part of himself like he did when he lost his mom, and his dad, and Liz. This time he knew only, that he was truly going to miss him. Miss him until he called again, or showed up at his door for Christmas or Thanksgiving. And he could live with that. Missing him was okay, but being completely void again, was a feeling he couldn't deal with. Not anymore.

"Daddy?" Blue sleepy eyes looked into his face as he held the little boy in his arms.

"Yeah, Will?" Luke asked brushing a dark curl away from his face.

"What were your mommy and daddy like? Were they like you and mommy?" Luke smiled and hugged his son closer to his side.

"They loved me just like your mommy and I love you." Will smiled and snuggled into Luke's chest.

"Will you sing me the lullaby?"

"Of course kiddo."

_Goodnight you moonlight ladies._

_Rock-a-bye Sweet baby Danes._

_Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose._

_Wont you let me go down in my dreams,_

_And rock-a-bye sweet baby Danes._

"Luke?"

He looked up at his sister standing with a three year old Jess in her arms.

"Yeah?"

"Will you watch him for awhile? I have to go to the store real quick."

"I can go to the store if you…"

"No, I got it. Can you just put him to bed please?"

She handed him the kid and quickly made her way out the door.

"Uncle Luke I'm not tired."

Luke smiled at him, as little Jess yawned and clutched his flannel shirt.

"You're not, huh?"

"Nope. Can you sing to me?"

"Sing to you?"

"Yeah…mom sings to me all the time."

Luke thought about it for a second.

"Okay, I'll sing to you."

_Goodnight you moonlight ladies._

_Rock-a-bye Sweet baby Danes._

_Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose._

_Wont you let me go down in my dreams,_

_And rock-a-bye sweet baby Danes._

"Uncle Luke? I'm not a Danes. I'm a Mariano."

"Maybe by name. But not right here."

He pointed to his heart and Jess giggled from the touch.

"You're weird Uncle Luke."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Will you keep singing?"

"Sure."

"Luke? Is he asleep?"

Lorelai made her way quietly into the room with a girl about the same age as Will in her arms.

"Yeah. Is she?" He whispered in return.

"Oh yeah. She can never stay awake during 'Titanic'. Ten minutes in and she's snoring like a truck diver. Which she gets from you, by the way."

She set the girl down in the bed next to Will's and tucked her in, grabbing a stuffed pink rabbit before placing it in her arms.

"Yeah well, Will kicks in his sleep. That he gets from you." Luke pointed.

She leaned down and kissed the top of her daughter's forehead.

"Night Jules."

She mumbled something in her sleep and hugged the bunny to her chest.

Luke stood up kissed his daughter's forhead,and thenkissed Lorelai softly on the lips before putting his arm around her and leading her out of the bedroom.

Before he closed the door he turned around to look at his kids one more time.

He realized then, that after all he had gone through, the ups, the down, the ins, the outs, after everything said and done, he was truly happy with the way things were, are, and will be.

He had everything he had ever wanted. And because of that, he would never be disappointed again.

**THE END.**

**Well, I hope you all enjoyed this story. I'm moving on to my next one. It's going to be a Javajunkie that takes place after "The Big One". Lorelai and Max end up dating again and Luke finds himself very upset when she doesn't tell him about it. **

**Chapter One should be up by the end of the weekend!**

**Rusty**


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